Deader than I've ever been before

Leaf is now working in a different country - albeit a mere half-hour flight away. She only found out last week. "We've deleted your job but don't worry, you can have this new one. It's just across that little sea over there. Get packing, you start Monday."

I had no idea these things could happen so quickly and neither had she, but there isn't much point in kicking up a stink because she's actually a bit better off now. Not so much financially as for her state of mind. She's working in a buzzing capital city full of night-life, bright lights and colourful accents; a real change from the dour, grey excuse of a capital city that so depressed her before.

So that's all been a bit of a shock. She was relieved when I called her yesterday evening because she hadn't been able to phone home - forgetting to preface her numbers with the 44 international dial code for the UK, silly thing.

I wanted to explain about my last minute booking, a Christmas experience on the Orient Express ... which meant of course that I couldn't cook Christmas dinner for her entourage of 26. Unfortunately I'm not a very good liar, "Bunnyman, if you don't turn up to cook, you'll be deader than you've ever been before."

?deader than before? Hmm, golly, that's a threat to get you wondering, isn't it? Just how many forms of death are there? Have I already been dead and not realised? What a puzzle.

Anyway my attempt to get out of Christmas day has so far failed miserably. I wonder whether the local chemist would consider selling me a highly contagious disease?

Listening to: Pink Floyd, "On the Run"
Looking for: well pretty much any old excuse now. Any ideas?